Someone has lost a CD with a bunch of people's bank details on.
(Yes, I should write headlines.)
If you couldn't be bothered to click on that link, let me fill you in: the personal details of 25 million people were put on a CD by HM Customs...and now no-one knows where this CD has gone. Or something like that. The point, or at least my point, is that everyone appears to be blaming the wrong people for this. So far, the Conservatives and the Lib Dems have both given the government something of a bollocking about this, not to mention the flood of hatred towards Labour from the direction of the BBC's 'Have Your Say' pages. Apparently the missing CD is further proof that this government is incompetent and not to be trusted. It has been described as 'the last straw'. It is, without question, yet another colossal example of Labour being rubbish.
Hang on...what? I'm pretty sure Customs wasn't an invention of Blair's or Brown's. I'm also pretty sure it isn't staffed exclusively by members of the Labour party. Ergo, I'm pretty sure it's illogical to blame even an admittedly huge screw-up by employees working 'at a junior level' on the government of the day, however much you dislike them, because I see no reason why this wouldn't have happened under the Tories, the Lib Dems or the Monster Raving Loonies. I'm sick of this attitude of everything bad being the government's fault. Firstly, it's annoying to me because I think this government has done a lot of good things (yes, many bad things too, but that's another story), and I don't like the assumption by negative eejits that they've been one big disaster. Secondly, there's the Homer Simpson effect. Remember when Homer blew up the church with a home-made rocket?
Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done!
Homer: You say that so often it's lost all meaning.
Well in this metaphor, Homer is the government and Marge represents every silly little opportunist looking to have a moan. And just to be clear, the blowing up of the church represents a very bad deed which the government may yet commit which we will be incapable of adequately condemning because Joe Public has used up his whinge allowance. Now onto another, more important story.
England! Football! Wembley! Tomorrow!
Illogicality annoys me, as I think I demonstrated in the first half of this post. Why then, do I not care about the following? Because Russia lost to Israel, England aren't that crap after all. It doesn't bother me because I'm just too excited about England qualifying. Let me set you a scene - a tired young man sits in a deserted pub in Cornwall, watching Matt Le Tissier talk on Sky Sports News about an England match the young man has just missed because the pub doesn't have the right Sky TV package. The man is drenched in beer because he slumped tiredly onto the bar at the final whistle and knocked over his almost-full pint, rubbing salt into the wound of the 2-1 defeat by Russia that left England staring failure squarely in the face. Many weeks later and this same man, again lacking the requisite Sky channel, is in his bedroom listening with tense excitement to Radio Five, who are commentating on the closing seconds of Israel versus Russia. It's one all. We are deep in injury time. A draw will make England favourites for qualification, but a Russian victory will all but eliminate us from the competition and it's Russia who are attacking. Israel are dead on their feet, they have nothing left to give. The crowd noise reaches a crescendo as the commentator shrieks, on the verge of breaking every heart in England, but no! It's hit the post! And suddenly, Israel are on the break - no, surely not...YES! GOAL! ISRAEL HAVE WON! IT'S ALL OVER! Oh, the man was me, by the way, and I hope I have demonstrated the depth of emotion he has been subjected to during this qualification campaign. He deserves to see his team go through. You know, I've rather lost my thread. The point of this whole post was that I wanted to show the England team I would pick for the final game against Croatia tomorrow (well, today now, I've passed midnight whilst writing this). My team is:
Robinson
Richards Campbell Lescott A. Cole
Beckham Barry Gerrard J. Cole
Crouch Defoe
That is all.
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