Comparison

I'm feeling nostalgic and a little bit sad, yet also strangely hopeful. Before I started writing this blog, I had another one, bits of which I've been reading tonight. It differed from this one in many ways: this one has capital letters, this one makes an occasional effort to be mature, this one holds back on the swearing, this one doesn't need to be kept secret...and yet this one doesn't chronicle a fun life. It doesn't record the thoughts of a naiive amateur rockstar student who throws caution to the wind - it records the thoughts of a whining arse of a Master's graduate who is living at home. Gigs and after-parties have been replaced by folk clubs and tea. Reckless nights out have been replaced by driving to the pub for a coke. Mornings have stopped being a theoretical concept, while females have become one.
But this is good.
I already knew I was miserable, but now I have a focus for my travels. I remember the feeling I want to recreate, and if I can't figure out how to be reckless and young with a passport and five grand then I should probably send back my degree with a note explaining my dumbitude. Yeah, that's right, I made up a word. That's the sort of thing a crazy 21-year-old would do. He wouldn't give it a second thought, he'd just do it and then look at you with a rock 'n' roll expression, as if to say "Yeah? What are you going to do about it, Mr. Dictionary?". Oh, I forgot, I'm not there yet - still in boring mode and have work tomorrow. but sod it i'm going to rebel and not put any cApItAL LetTeRS @ ALL in this sENTence. And yet I did anyway! What?