Utopia #1

Sometimes, being right isn't enough. I mean, it's fairly clear to me that organised religion is a fairly dodgy concept, but if I said it should be banned, I would rightly be called a bit of an arse. I also know that Jim Davidson is a racist tit, but to ban his "comedy" would be a bit shaky, freedom-of-speech-wise. When right-wing people discuss their ideology, they believe in freedom, in not being forced to do things even if they are well-meaning, because that choice should be theirs. To me, the fundamental freedom to be greedy is a slightly odd foundation for a philosophy, but whatever, I think I've found a solution that will suit everyone: voluntary dictatorships.
Instead of getting everyone to vote for one government which no-one ever seems happy with because of all the compromises they have to make for the sake of pleasing everyone, let's split the country into, say, three bits. The south is traditionally conservative, so down there we'll have snipers at Calais for the immigrants, compulsory hunting of fluffy animals and tax breaks for the pink-shirted. These measures would be imposed by a permanent, unelected government, as would the differing measures in the north, such as a blanket ban on Pimms, total relaxation of all drinking laws and a re-introduction of smoking in pubs. The third zone, which might end up covering Greater London, would retain democracy, in case anyone couldn't choose between the northern and southern extremes.
A more advanced system might be divided into counties, giving a numerically huge choice of cultures. Leicestershire might be designated the county in which all drugs were legal, while Lancashire might only go as far as turning a blind eye to weed. Warwickshire might choose to operate Sharia law, while Devon could choose to ban all Muslims, and for those looking for a more moderate approach, Gloucestershire wouldn't be bothered either way. If you haven't grasped the genius of this idea yet, let me clarify.
Under our current system of democracy, there are two realistic options when it comes to voting: Labour or Conservative. These two parties are very similar in many ways, and very vague in their ideologies. This, coupled with the fact that it takes far less than 50% of the public vote to get elected, means that most people won't get to live under the government they voted for, not that they felt any particular affinity for them anyway. Under my system, you "vote" by moving to the county that most suits your beliefs and lifestyle. Instead of two choices, you get....fifty? And you can't lose the election! It's like magic. As inventor of this system, I would like to start by naming myself king of Gwynedd, North Wales. Policies will be posted on here as and when I think of them, but rest assured you'll have to salute the cover of OK Computer in the morning.